paperghost: (Default)
Capy ([personal profile] paperghost) wrote2025-08-08 06:31 pm

The Permanent Stain

I really hate to link to something by Andrew Sullivan. I'm aware of his issues ('94...), he's the type of commentator I just read privately for the sake of not having an echo chamber and to roll my eyes or nod at 40% of the time. He's been annoying me half of the time. But today's post hit me hard.

The Permanent Stain

It’s been over a decade now since Grendel emerged from the forest and the metaphors are understandably tired. But a sentence in a recent Mark Helprin piece jogged my amygdala nonetheless. He described the president as someone who “behaves like a wild boar crashing through a field of well-tended crops. (Look carefully at the eyes, and you see it.)”

Yes, you do. Helprin is as far from being a leftist as one might imagine — which, of course, is precisely why he sees the feral glint in Trump’s eyes the way he does. Conservatism is prudent, diligent care for the inheritance of the past, and the shepherding of constitutional democratic governance away from the shoals of dysfunction and ideology. In that sense, Trump is conservatism’s actual nemesis: a wild boar — psychologically incapable of understanding anything but dominance and revenge, with no knowledge of history, crashing obliviously and malevolently through the ruined landscape of our constitutional democracy.

This very Greek tragedy — conservatives killing the Constitution they love because they hate the left more — is made more poignant by Trump’s utter cluelessness: he doesn’t even intend to end the American experiment in self-government and individual freedom. He isn’t that sophisticated. He is ending it simply because he knows no other way of being a human being. He cannot tolerate any system where he does not have total control. Character counts, as conservatives once insisted, and a man with Trump’s psyche, when combined with his demagogic genius, is quite simply incompatible with liberal democratic society. Unfit.

[... blah blah, a lot of recap on the last 8 months and Sullivan's hateboner for Biden, more notable snippets under the cut]

Read more... )

When a disaffected conservative who loves Reagan and Thatcher is in the right (no pun intended), that's really when you need to reconsider who the fuck we elected. (I disagree with the successor part, but whatever. Trump is in awful shape, I don't think MAGA will live after he dies.)
mercurios: uncle iroh thinking (uncle iroh)
prev bigmess ([personal profile] mercurios) wrote2025-08-08 10:47 am
Entry tags:

✦ archive; oo5

memes to write something idk

text boxes under the cut )
paperghost: (Default)
Capy ([personal profile] paperghost) wrote2025-08-08 07:45 am
Entry tags:

upd8

From the Neocities feed:
I took the review I did for Game Change (HBO drama based on the 2008 election) offline for a few days because I finished the book last week and thought deleting it would motivate me to update with how I felt about that. It didn't, I have such little interest in upkeeping this site. Not a loss because I really want to forget about this political climate.

I'm really not feeling the love creativity-wise anymore, and the past 15 months on top of how much of a pain it is to upload/update my art, I'm really tired. This is why I've been slow to respond to emails, I'm really frustrated and tired of this sphere lately.

If I wasn't such a workaholic I'd take this as a cue to look into Github push updates, but I don't even care at this point. I'll upload art drawn for me last month some other time.

I don't even think the page was all that controversial and neither was the update with info from the book I was chipping at, but every day I wish the joy and investment I had in "smallweb" or whatever in 2022-2023 would come back. If I'm not reminded that my ex was my main inspiration and motivator, I just don't see a point in "making" anything because the same Twitter doomscrollers are there. This can be chalked up to just "depression" or whatever, but I really hate this. I feel like I can't express anything without "callout" types on my ass, social media is boring, my usual Discord company I'm also uncomfortable with. I'm tired and I don't know when things will get better.

Here's a tutorial on deploying to Neocities I found that's pretty good, by the way.
tropicsbear: (Patterns: Floral warm)
Bear ([personal profile] tropicsbear) wrote2025-08-08 05:47 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

The Curious Case of the Pygmy Nuthatch

You see, there’s a scene in [Charlie's Angels] that tormented me, that kept me up at night, and that lately has had me interrogating a wide variety of seemingly devoted, and certainly well-compensated, filmmaking professionals. That’s because the bird in Charlie’s Angels is, I believe, the wrongest bird in the history of cinema—and one of the weirdest and most inexplicable flubs in any movie I can remember. It is elaborately, even ornately wrong. It has haunted not just me but, as I’d later learn, the birding community at large for almost a quarter of a century.

ngl this was a riveting read 😆

thispatternismine: (mdzs - wangxian)
thispatternismine ([personal profile] thispatternismine) wrote2025-08-07 07:27 pm
Entry tags:

Cdrama Roundup

Jade's Fateful Love

Someone on [community profile] c_ent recommended a drama called Fateful Love & when I went to look it up on MDL I found 2 dramas called that, plus this one, all of which released in 2024. I suppose we should be lucky nobody released one called Fateful Love of Blossom, for the ultimate 2024 cliché title.

I checked this one out to investigate & was immediately intrigued because it had a time loop/do-over element, where the main pairing had a magic pendant that would rewind time if they died. I love me some time travel tropes so I was like O_O YES PLEASE! And it was a relatively short drama, but not too short, with 24 episodes of 40 mins each (& several of them were 35 mins).

Sadly I ended up bailing 10 episodes in because even with that fairly snappy runtime, the plot still dragged, & after the first 2 episodes they barely died & needed to rewind (episodes 3-10 they died twice). Everything just seemed to screech to a halt as soon as they arrived in the capitol. Things sort of happen with no real impact. FL runs away & replaces her sister in the marriage, assuming her identity so her sister can marry her true love, & her brother is with her, & then we find her sister has settled in some random town after her escape. This means the country of Dongyu has lost 2 princesses, 1 prince, & the sister's lover is a diplomat, & the marriage is meant to seal a peace deal between the 2 countries after years of war, but this is fine I guess? ML seems to die in a confrontation but is quickly revealed to be alive & there is so further mention, even though he got stabbed in the chest. FL knows the marriage is important & has no particular reason not to marry considering the consequences, but wants to find a way out because... reasons. The ML's cousin is in love with him & sees herself as entitled to him, gets the FL & ML killed (obviously they get better), so he's obviously pissed & kicks her out of his mansion (presumably having her punished more severely would cause political issues so fair enough), & then a few episodes later she's visiting him & while he's not exactly friendly, he's weirdly chill about it. There's a stolen ledger that's apparently important only not really. FL encounters someone from her country being abused & intervenes, gets arrested over it & finds out her people are treated as slaves & the woman she helped has to go back to her master even though she apparently bought her freedom, & is just kind of, 'oh, well that sucks'. Stuff like that. Everything is just, oh okay I guess. There's supposedly political scheming going on but there's no tension.

They also did that thing where they make the FL incompetent in ways she should be competent. We're shown in episode 1 that she loves cooking, but later an etiquette teacher shows up & she struggles to pour tea (I don't doubt she'd struggle with the fiddlier aspects of a tea ceremony, but a cook being unable to pour liquid without spilling it? Come on. She's from a country of grassy plains with a tribal/Mongolian vibe & there is no way someone like that isn't an experienced rider, & when she & the ML go out riding, after initially riding super well & shooting with a bow from horseback, she falls off the horse when it gets startled & is immediately helpless & has to be carried by the ML & her sprained ankle is treated as a grievous injury.

2ML is a contender from Most Annoying 2ML in a Cdrama.

On the plus side the ML had such a cute baby face yet still had Lan Wangji levels of resting bitch face, & I love the contrast. I also love the South Prince, who should by all rights have been a super annoying character, but managed to be hilarious & endearing. Sadly neither of these characters was enough to make up for the boredom.

Fateful Love

The actual drama I was recommended. Made it 2 episodes in. Seemed promising at first. FL transmigrates from the modern world & immediately beats a bunch of people up & gives zero fucks it was awesome & hilarious watching her humiliate her shitty family. But then she seems to just let them walk over her. And she goes to the consort selection to piss off her sister, but then doesn't really try & is surprised at being chosen. Like are you trying to spite her or not? And why commission nunchucks if you can't fight effectively with them? It also looks like they'd doing the 'every other female character is a jealous bitch who wants the ML & hates the FL' & omg fuck that shiiiiit.

Especially as the ML is ugly (not helped by an atrocious wig). Like girl you can have him.

Even beyond his looks I had no interest in his story.

Legend of the Female General

I didn't even manage 5 minutes. Noped out as soon as I saw the character was forced to wear a mask. I know the MDL description mentioned that but I thought they were being metaphorical! I get they needed the character to not be recognised when she assumed her new identity after being betrayed. But it makes zero sense that her father would force her to wear it from childhood to disguise her as a boy. Just have her wear boy clothes! There'll be no obvious indicators otherwise until puberty hits & it's not like her face is what's going to give things away at that point. It just draws attention to the fact that something shady is going on. And we see her still wearing a mask when fighting, & you can't tell me everyone was fine with that.

According to the description the ML is suspicious & convinced she's a spy... after she returns post-betrayal, without her mask! So he was not remotely suspicious of someone constantly wearing a mask, but this random person is clearly up to something.

They obviously need to have the ML not recognise her, but idk just have a different actress play her in flashbacks, or do something with makeup, or say the ML has really bad face blindness or something!

I guess that's a petty thing to be bothered by, but I can only handwave so much. I'm pretty sure I'm dodging a bullet here as well. It took so long to get to air & that's rarely a good sign. Plus there were comments on the MDL page about how the pacing felt rushed, which didn't necessarily seem like a big deal (& people were defending the pacing by saying the novel had a lot going on) until I saw that the 4 episodes available on that first day were all 35 minutes. So you have a busy plot, & not only are you only using 36 episodes out of the maximum of 40, but the run time is shorter than it could be. Yeah, red flaaaaaags.

paperghost: (Sparkler loaf)
Capy ([personal profile] paperghost) wrote2025-08-06 12:17 pm
Entry tags:

toyhouse + complaining

I'm trying to bite the bullet and be more active in artist spaces despite my low social energy, so I'm alerting more people to my Toyhouse to get over my fear of being public. I "cleared" my mental inventory of OCs, but my yumeship or whatever OC doesn't have a page yet because I'm embarrassed. But I need to just look around more and get over myself, at some point... 

I don't want to be cunty, but I do find these art communities really frustrating on the surface and am trying to just block and find normal people. I'm aware my profile warning sounds rude, but so often I see "DNIs" laying out every opinion the user has, and I just think... You're not that important for people to know every thought in your head. Stop making your opinions so central to everything. Even as someone who has "un-PC" tendencies and dislikes a lot of stripes of "political people", I don't understand why people online act like this.

I used to be like that, until I dealt with someone who was a more extreme form of this. And I realized the way I felt seeing this person talk about nothing but their unpopular opinions was probably how other people feel with me. When I click on someone's page, I'm not looking for their opinion on abortion or gender politics or whatever. I'd go on someone's blog if I wanted to see that. And at this point, I really don't. I've been avoiding a lot of acquaintances more due to politics in the last year than I have in the last decade. I'm tired of walking on eggshells and being paranoid of everyone.

requiems: (sakura ☙ calling)
rems✨ ([personal profile] requiems) wrote2025-08-06 07:17 am

sorbet how could you do this to me

My body has added another food to its "no we can't eat that" list and I knew it was likely from the prior occasion buuuuut this one confirmed it, which is how I'm awake at 7am and have only just climbed into bed now I'm not semi-living in the bathroom. Said food is sorbet. How sugar flavoured ice is causing an issue I don't know: nothing on the ingredients list is a trigger. The more fun recent one was the brand of tinned pineapple being different than usual and my body deciding it can eat it as is... but not reheated as leftovers, whilst the usual is fine don't care whatever. There is no other ingredient in this but pineapple. I don't understand that one at all lmao.

Whilst waiting it out (and trying to move around a little between bathroom visits) I started tackling emptying my bookcases in anticipation of putting doors on them - they need to be dusted and wiped down first, and for basic safety, should also be cleared - and did six of eighteen slots. True I did half of two earlier today but had an epiphany that I could stack books in portions of my new kallax whilst also putting figures carefully into drawers and/or boxes. My desk is mostly clear; it now has three large boxes on it that can be moved onto my bed whilst the new bookcases are assembled, though I still need to empty remaining drawers, which I'll do next. Old bookcases and doors may not even be next time we do furniture assembly depending on how long new plus doors takes, how long it takes me to do it and if I can find other places to stash everything in it that doesn't require the new bookcases being assembled, but we'll see how far I manage...

It's so bitty and frustrating because I have to be so regimented and careful about how much gets done when and I won't see any benefit from it for months. But I'm trying, whilst also having to fend off my parents expecting more progress than I can give... it didn't help that we were delayed by a few weeks due to an Ikea mess up so I couldn't even start cleaning things and rotating them around whilst other furniture is changed out or upgraded, but again. Trying despite my body's continuous bullshit.

ffxiv alt levelling )

Now mogtomes is over, I should really get back to Stormblood msq... or other games I wanted to play, woops.



In the meantime: yeah it was absolutely worth doing last minute pvp for this.
aliensamba: bleach (e)
aliensamba ([personal profile] aliensamba) wrote2025-08-06 01:14 pm

099 - 2 gifs; 25.02 - hunter x hunter

Medium: anime
Fandom: Hunter x Hunter
Character: Chrollo Lucilfer
Prompt: Master of the Game
Notes: 2 gifs for the last week (week 13) of Fortune Wheel at Fandom Empire.

Read more... )
paperghost: (Default)
Capy ([personal profile] paperghost) wrote2025-08-05 08:02 pm
Entry tags:

oh ho ho i love to consoom


I know I've got nothing
Except plastic
Now I'm running
Going straight to the cashport
Slip it in
Get it, drive
Pressin' on bucks now
Feelin' with it, gonna win
First world competition
I even get a guarantee

Oh ho ho
I love to consume
All these buyings
Got me stayin' in tune

We got a French's cops
Wavy old paletot
See me wreck it
Brown anthrax mountain slicker
One for the money
Two for the show
Betta bend over
You'll go go go

Buy buy a new obsession
Buy buy your own cremation
Buy buy a new complexion
Buy buy a permanent erection

I want more
I want it all
I want to get what I'm looking for
I want a pound of lead
A pound of flesh
A pound of hate
A pound of diffident

Cry now, we fry later
Gonna buy now, pay later
Put the pedal to the metal
The metal to the floor
The floor to the people
Cause the people want more

Buy buy a little fixation
Buy buy a little sensation
Buy buy a new complexion
Buy buy a permanent erection
Buy buy a good luck charm
You can buy buy a plastic arm
Buy buy a new obsession
Buy buy your own cremation
Buy buy a new fixation
Buy buy a permanent erection
Buy buy a mind expansion
On peace, love, and destruction

I'll get a new dog
A many-mix
A Harley made
Vacuum cleaner
Rubber doll
Header sofa
Motorbike
Swedish sauna
Smartline polaroid
Drugs that make you paranoid
Facelift
Silicone goatee
Motor phone
Buy now, pay later
Gonna cry now, fry later

Oh ho ho
I love to consume
All these buyings
Get in like a high noon

Buy buy
Buy buy
Buy buy
Buy buy

This song aged like fine wine...
larissa: (FFXII ☄ ⌈Ashe ; to walk amongst gods⌋)
just not for long, for long ⌛ ([personal profile] larissa) wrote2025-08-05 07:24 am

ffxiv patch 7.3 liveblog

this is a proper liveblog, written as i'm playing through the patch! spoilers below, only covers msq.

Read more... )

paperghost: (Mars)
Capy ([personal profile] paperghost) wrote2025-08-04 05:30 pm
Entry tags:

ugh

I realized why I've been sleeping so badly lately. I need to lay off the melatonin. I have approx 1.5mg, which is... too much I guess... it makes me crazy and only sleep 4-5 hours and not go back to sleep. Going back to just 1mg and a Diphenhydramine even though it doesn't automatically knock me out like it does combined with 1.5. 1.5-2mg makes me paranoid as hell too.
mercurios: joanna from mr robot (hmn)
prev bigmess ([personal profile] mercurios) wrote2025-08-04 11:55 am
Entry tags:

✦ archive; oo4

let's see if i update this

movies seen in 2025
[letterboxd]

for the first time )

althea_valara: A cropped image of Feo Ul as Titania from Final Fantasy XIV. Feo Ul is a fairy with fiery orange hair and large butterfly wings. (Titania)
Althea Valara ([personal profile] althea_valara) wrote2025-08-04 12:07 pm

Crafting Update, July 2025

My pivot table tells me I crafted 16 hours 13 minutes in July, on seven different projects.

Two of those projects were tablet pillows. Like this phone pillow I previously made but a bit bigger:

A crocheted phone stand, made in nautical-colored yarn.
[Image Description: A crocheted phone stand, made in nautical-colored yarn.]

I am keeping the first tablet pillow for myself, and the second one is for my older sister, who requested one.

I did 2 hours on my crocheted cardigan. Not much, but I got frustrated with it because... well, I left the ends rather long, so long they tangled with one another AND the working yarn, and it's a pain to try to feed the working yarn through the knot. I need to deal with that this month.

I did 4 hours 38 minutes on a secret project. It's coming along! But I had rather expected to be done with it by now. I lost my momentum with it, and just lost my crafting mojo in general.

I started a gnome as a present for the kidlets, but dropped a stitch and got fed up so put that aside. I am probably going to give up on this plan, and make them snowflakes (if I make anything) instead.

I spent 1 hour 19 minutes making ICONS! It's rare I do image manipulation, so this definitely deserves to be counted. The icon on this post is one of them.

Finally, I spent 20 minutes working on a knit top. I don't recall why I dropped it (literally - the yarn is on the floor under my desk, sigh). Probably got frustrated for one reason or another.

I'm... a bit sad my output is slowing down. I mean, I still did craft quite a bit! But I definitely notice a difference in my oomph. Guess this is my new normal.
larissa: (FFXVI ☄ ⌈Clive ; for the plot⌋)
just not for long, for long ⌛ ([personal profile] larissa) wrote2025-08-04 10:48 am

2025 week 31

starting off the week with some terrible news: my tv is fucking up on me. i get sound, but absolutely no picture, no matter what i try. i've done all the typical troubleshooting, and i'm pretty sure it's just cooked. not thrilled about this in the least, especially as i spend most of my gaming time on the ps5.

health-wise, i'm doing better; pain meds are doing their job so i haven't been in the terrible state i was about a month ago. still need to work on my knees, but we're making some progress.

mogtome season has just about wrapped up in ff14; i did far too many GATEs in the gold saucer for mogtomes. new patch tomorrow, including VIERA HATS, a thing i have been wanting for six straight years. cannot believe my viera finally gets to wear her red mage hats, i'm so thrilled.

i've been lazy about picking a new book to read, which i should really fix this week as i'll have a good chunk of time for reading. as far as other media consumption goes, i watched kpop demon hunters a few nights ago with a friend and absolutely loved it. what a joyful film. a true delight. i've been listening to all the tracks from it on repeat.

i feel like i'm forgetting something to talk about, but it's not coming to me... hmm. there's always next week, i suppose.

requiems: (prih ☙ hand to heart)
rems✨ ([personal profile] requiems) wrote2025-08-04 05:21 am

wolgraha week 2025

I haven't written anything longform resembling a fic for this (much like I did not for wolfilia week or wolzero week...) but I did collect some of my wolgraha thoughts together that I haven't touched on in fic before in sort-of prose to solidify it for myself more than anything. Mostly codependent cats. All varying levels of angst? Pretend to be surprised.

First Meetings/Introductions )

Hurt/comfort )

AU )
larissa: (BSSM ☄ ⌈Usagi/Mamoru; shining star⌋)
just not for long, for long ⌛ ([personal profile] larissa) wrote2025-08-03 09:56 pm

trails in the sky the 3rd liveblog part 1

i just reached chapter 3 last night, so i should stop putting off making a post about it.

i've had a hard time getting into this game through no real fault of its own; i've had stuff going on and i haven't been able to dedicate time to it, even though i thoroughly enjoy it every time i sit down to play. so here's some thoughts through the start of chapter 3.

you won't believe how this entry starts )

thispatternismine: (Default)
thispatternismine ([personal profile] thispatternismine) wrote2025-08-03 05:56 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Checking out some cnovels that have been licenced by Seven Seas to figure out if they're worth buying, because those things are nearly 20 quid per volume & I got burned by 2ha, which I bought since it sounded right up my alley but I ended up hating.

First up is My Husband & I Sleep in a Coffin (the online translations are called I & My Husband Sleep in a Coffin, but someone at 7S understands how English grammar works & I'm going with the correct version). Only a couple of chapters in & really liking it so far. The LI is delightfully deranged. The first volume comes out in a few weeks, so I probably won't read all of it. Just enough to be sure I like it, then I'll wait for the book, read that, & then read the rest of the unofficial translation.

xeena: (Default)
xena. ([personal profile] xeena) wrote2025-08-03 05:55 pm

LJ IDOL WHEEL OF CHAOS, WEEK 6

This is a re-imagining of the terrific entry for week 5 of this contest written by the awesome [personal profile] inkstainedfingertips (thank you for being okay with me doing this! <3). Please read his story first. You can find it here: https://inkstainedfingertips.dreamwidth.org/6251.html


_____________________________________________________________________________________


"Toi, toi, toi!
The monster
I banish -
Right outta sight!
Toi, toi, toi!
The monster
I become
Night after night!
Toi, toi, toi!"


Liam scribbles out the lyrics that just came to him, sings softly under breath that is as shaky as his hands.

His first two attempts to light his cigarette fail.

Third time is the charm and the hit of nictotine soothes him if only momentarily.

He knows he should quit the cancer sticks just like he did the pills.

So far this year he's already quit smoking twice.

Right now though he doesn't care about the risk of heart attacks or lung cancer.

He just needs a cigarette.

Or twenty.

It's not the first panic attack he's ever had, and he knows it won't be the last.

The same goes for the nightmare he just woke up from at two thirty in the morning.

What really gets him is how every other dream he has, he can never remember anything about them. Hell, he doesn't even dream in color.

But this one nightmare that's been recurring since he was twelve years old transports him right back into the scene that haunts him.

The night his father tried, and failed, to kill him.

He can still recall the smell of the forest after the rain, the owl hooting in the trees and the sound of his father's heavy footfalls as he hunted his son like the birds he was fond of killing.

He remembers how he'd asked his Nana for help, attempting to banish the evil the he knew dwelt within his father's heart.

The tears running down his own face.

The fear he'd felt as his father loomed above him before -

Liam forces himself to stop thinking of what came after his father found him.

Inhales, then exhales deeply, focusing on his breathing just like he was taught, even though his therapist wouldn't approve of the relapsed habit.

It works, briefly.

"I'm safe, it's over. Dad's dead and he's not coming after me again," he repeats, he repeats the affirmation taught to him with closed eyes, but all he can see behind his eyelids is the look on his father's face that night out there in the trees.

More monster than man.

Which is exactly what his father was.

What the memories are.

He knows some people refer to memories as ghosts, haunting them but for him memories have razor sharp teeth and jagged edges that can and do hurt.

Next Liam tries the moving arond and feeling your body techniques together.

Pacing his bedroom he rubs his hands up and down his arms, his seen-better-days Green Day t-shirt hanging low and baggy on his lean but wiry frame.

Despite the humid summer temperature of ninetey three degrees, his bare legs and forearms are still pimpled with gooseflesh.

This isn't working either.

He runs his hands through his so-black-it-looks-almost-blue-under-the-light hair and gives a frustrated groan.

Sometimes Liam feels like giving up.

Fighting against this constantly is exhausting.

Managing and learning to live with PTSD, his therapist calls it.

Liams just calls it bullshit, bitter that he has to do this because he had the misfortune of being his father's son.

He's still shaking as he lights the next cigarette.

His panic attacks have lessened lately, he has to admit but sometimes the nightmares bring on a doozy.

He doubts he's strong enough to keep doing this, even though his therapist insists that he in fact is, and that it will get easier over time.

"You said you thought of your father as a monster," he told Liam during their last session. "Why not think of this disorder as one too? One that you can take control back from."

What's the point? he asks himself aloud as he begins the grounding technique Dr.Hwang assured him would be helpful.

He scans the room, mentally checking off five things he can see.

His lyrics notebook, the beginning of a new song waiting on the page.

A framed photograph that hangs on the wall near the window, of him at seven years old with his Nana. Both of them laughing, the love between them clear, immortalized in a camera flash.

The view of the city through his open window, vibrant and alive at any time of day or night.

The purple haired character in his favorite show that continued playing on his laptop after he dozed off earlier.

His own reflection in the mirror opposite, hair a mess, eyees drawn. But his eyebrow piercing is finally healed and looks pretty good if he does say so himself.

Four things he can touch.

His soft bed.

His phone, the group chat between him and his friends lighting up as he does.

His own body, living proof of his survival.

The comfortable slippers shaped like Garfield that no one knows he owns.

He laughs to himself.

Three things he can hear.

His dog softly snoring from the next room.

The sounds of the rain and city's activity outside.

Two things he can smell.

His own cologne.

The smell of late summer rain.

A scent he's always loved.

Even though it's synoymous with what he's trying so hard to forget.

His dad doesn't get to have that too, he thinks.

One thing he can taste.

The cigarette that has almost burned down to the stub.

He takes one more drag and then crushes it out in the ashtray on the bedside table.

He looks around the room, eyes meeting his own in the mirror opposite.

All those things he just listed are the point he realizes, noting that the grounding technique worked too.

"Your father doesn't get to decide your future Liam, you will do that."

Those had been Dr.Hwang's words to him when they met for the first time, six months ago.

Now for the first time he believes it.

He stand up, tosses the cigarettes into the wastepaper basket and climbs back into bed.

And when he falls aleep again, it's a dreamless one.

_________________________________________________________________________


fiction.

but with heavy inspiration from reality because I too have ptsd. I wanted to imagine adult Liam, who is living his life but of course still has issues, how could he not? But I also wanted to show that even when you have ptsd/live with such memories and trauma you can still live a life and find happiness.

[profile] inkstainedfingetips sorry not sorry about the Thanos cameo.
paperghost: (Default)
Capy ([personal profile] paperghost) wrote2025-08-02 09:16 pm
Entry tags:

To-do list

-publish an amended page
-update my AF gallery
-add a link
-upload new art
-follow a bunch of AF people on TH
-upload art done for me on TH
-unprivate and make profiles/upload art of some OCs
-update my "for me" gallery